“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
“Cat: Where are you going?
Alice: Which way should I go?
Cat: That depends on where you are going.
Alice: I don’t know.
Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Is that all there is? If that’s all there is, then let’s keep dancing – Peggy Lee
As much as I love dancing and Peggy Lee. I am looking for more.
I realized after losing my mom how much of my life I devoted to my mom and my grandmother. My purpose for the last 20 years was to make them happy and I loved it. Before that it was becoming a lawyer. I was in the process of that when this second purpose happened. When my dad passed away and my grandmother’s boyfriend passed away the same year so I wanted to cheer them both up. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a caretaker unless needed and much of the time we lived in different states and only saw each other a few times a year but I wanted to make their lives special. Neither had the easiest life and certainly weren’t wealthy. Anything I became was because of their ( and my dad’s ) sacrifices , love and support. I wanted them to experience the life they enabled me to have. Hosting them for holidays was the best part of my year. We would bicker the first couple days but we would laugh so much too. After losing my grandmother, my purpose was to help my mom and be there for her. I started calling her every day for the first few years and after that every other day . We started traveling together. Initially, it was to help he but it came a tradition. She was my best travel companion. I only realized they were my purpose less than a year before I lost mom. I need a new purpose.Something to live for. Without it I feel rudderless.
How do you do that? How do find a new purpose ? Isn’t is something that happens organically? Isn’t purpose usually rooted in passion ? Should it find you? I bought a couple books ( of course, research is key!) but not feeling inspired yet. Maybe the Cheshire Cat is right. Have any of you had to re-find your purpose?